Resolving Family Disputes Without Going to Court: Your Options Explained

When a relationship breaks down, discussions involving finances, property or children arrangements can quickly feel overwhelming. Many people think they have no choice but to go to court. In reality, there are numerous options that can help you reach an agreement together with your former partner more quickly, at less cost and with far less stress.

As family solicitors, we regularly guide clients through non-court dispute resolution (NCDR)options and, in many cases, these methods can lead to more constructive and longer-lasting outcomes than traditional court proceedings. It is a fact that solutions reached by agreement are more durable than those imposed on parties by a judge. This is one of the reasons why the law changed in April 2024 to help to promote a shift away from automatically considering court proceedings when resolving family disputes.

Here’s a short summary of the main options available in respect of financial claims on divorce and private children law applications.

Why Choose a Non-Court Option?

There are lots of reasons to consider resolving matters out of court:

• It's usually quicker and less costly;
• You can keep your arrangements private and confidential;
• You have more control over the process and outcome including deciding the date of the hearing and the person selected to act as a tribunal (the ‘private judge’) in your case;
• The person who is deciding your case has more time to focus on it rather than a judge in a family court who has multiple cases to handle every day and you can choose a person who has expertise in cases that mirror your particular circumstances;
• It’s often less adversarial, which helps to  maintain positive relationships, which is particularly important where children are involved; and
• The process can be tailored to your individual needs, rather than following the court’s timetable, including for example, changing the format to virtual hearings.

‍What Are My Options?

1. Mediation

Mediation involves working with a trained, independent mediator who helps you and your former partner discuss and resolve issues.

• It’s often the first step we recommend, and attending a Mediation Information and Assessment Meeting (MIAM) is usually required before applying to court (unless an exemption applies).
• If you reach an agreement, we can help you turn it into a legally binding Consent Order (for financial remedies) or a parenting plan.
• You often pay per session for the mediator and  although you would have to cover costs of your legal representation as well, this route is usually significantly cheaper than even the early stages of the court process.

Mediation is especially helpful where communication is still possible, and both parties are open to compromise.

2. Collaborative Law

This is a more structured process where both parties have their own collaboratively trained solicitor, and everyone commits to resolving matters without going to court.

• All discussions happen in four-way meetings with you, your former partner, and both solicitors present.
• The process is transparent and focused on achieving  a fair, workable outcome for everyone involved.

This can be a great choice for clients who want to retain control over the process while still having the support of a legal professional.

3. Arbitration

Arbitration is effectively employing a tribunal to act as a private judge. You and your former partner agree to appoint a trained family law arbitrator who makes a decision after hearing submissions and, if necessary, evidence from both parties.

• The outcome is legally binding, just like a court order (although it can be appealed in the right circumstances).
• It can be used for all financial matters and most children disputes, and usually resolves matters much faster than going to court.
• It involves a one-off fee for the arbitrator, although you would have to cover the costs of your legal representation as well.

Arbitration is ideal for those who want a clear decision but prefer a private and efficient process. It often involves a directions hearing before the arbitration hearing (akin to a final hearing in court proceedings).

4. Private Financial Dispute Resolution (Private FDR)

This option is available in financial cases and involves hiring a neutral expert (often a barrister or retired judge) to give a detailed opinion or indication on what a court might decide in your case.

• It mirrors the court’s Financial Dispute Resolution (FDR) hearing but happens outside court, at a time and place convenient to you, usually in barristers’ chambers or your solicitor’s office.
• Most cases settle after a private FDR hearing, making it a smart option for avoiding a final hearing.

• It involves a one-off fee for the for the expert acting as the private FDR Judge, plus any costs of your legal representation.

‍5. Early Neutral Evaluation (ENE)

In an ENE, an experienced family lawyer gives you and your ex-partner an early, impartial opinion on the likely outcome if your case were to go to court.

• The evaluation is not binding, but it can be very persuasive and often helps narrow the issues or prompt settlement discussions.

ENE can be used for financial and children disputes and is growing in popularity for both single issue or whole settlement requests. Often these are written opinions, based on the written submissions made by the lawyers for each party.

‍What Do the Courts Say About All This?

The family court is clear: wherever possible, you should try to resolve matters out of court. Under the Family Procedure Rules 2010 (which are regularly updated), parties are expected to genuinely consider and engage in non-court options before starting proceedings.

In fact, the court can:

• Ask you to explain what efforts you’ve made to  resolve the issue without litigation;
• Suggest or order a pause in proceedings to explore NCDR if a judge feels this is appropriate; and
• Order costs against a party who has unreasonably refused to try NCDR.

When Is Court the Better Option?

While these alternative methods work well in many cases, there are situations where going to court is necessary, for example:

• Where there are significant concerns about domestic abuse or safeguarding;
• If one party is refusing to engage or withholding  financial information; and
• Urgent issues, such as child abduction or where there is the risk of assets being hidden or sold.

However, even in complex or contentious situations, it’s often possible to use a combination of court and out-of-court methods.

How We Can Help

At Turner Nicholson, we’ll always take the time to understand your situation and help you decide the best way forward. Whether you’re looking for advice before a mediation session, or you need legal representation in arbitration we are here to support you every step of the way.

If you’re not sure which option is right for you, we’re happy to offer an initial consultation to explore what is most appropriate for your circumstances.

Get in Touch

To speak with a member of our friendly and experienced team, please contact us on 0207 336 6000 for the London office, 01327 263 950 for the Banbury office or email mail@turnernicholson.com for more information.

The material contained in this article is provided for informational purposes only and should not be construed as legal advice on any subject matter. The content of this article contains general information and may not reflect current legal developments, verdicts or settlements.

Author: Charlotte Hayes-Sennett

Dated 16 July 2025

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